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Welcome to the album I made before I died!
Itās the album that I made before I died!
But then
I guess
If you think about it
All of the other albums that Iāve made were also made before I died
So if accuracy is what weāre going for here
Then I guess I should say:
Welcome to the album that I made just before I died
But then again
I might live for a while
Maybe even long enough to make another album
Dammit
Um ā¦
Anyway
Welcome to an album I made before I died!
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2. |
Aging Hipster Blues
02:54
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I donāt know whatās cool anymore
I donāt know whatās cool
I donāt know whatās cool anymore
It makes it hard to know who Iām supposed to hate
I donāt know who to hate anymore
I donāt know who to hate
I donāt know who to hate anymore
Itās making it hard to feel superior
I donāt feel superior anymore
I donāt feel superior
I donāt feel superior anymore
It makes me wonder if the things I do are cool
I donāt think the things I do are cool anymore
I donāt think the things I do are cool
I donāt think the things I do are cool anymore
It makes me wonder what is cool
And I donāt know
I donāt know whatās cool anymore
I donāt know whatās cool
I donāt know whatās cool anymore
I guess Iāll burn my shirts and kill myself
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3. |
Nights Grow Long
03:24
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And the days grow short and the nights grow long
And the days grow short and the nights grow long
And you build and you build and no one comes
And the days grow short and the nights grow long
And now Iām out here grabbing neck scruffs
No motherfucker seems to mind much
In fact theyāre struggling to register
Sometimes I think Iām losing my touch
And you build and you build and no one comes
And you build and you build and no one comes
And the days grow short and the nights grow long
And you build and you build and no one comes
And now Iām out here flinging ordure
Everything else appears in order
In fact Iām struggling to recall
What the fuck all the fuss could be for
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4. |
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Itāll eat you
In the depths below the calm upon the surface
It is lurking, looking hungry
And if you let it
Itāll beat you
In its beady little eyes
A look of cold determination
Shines like steel
You need a safe pair of hands
The kind that knows what to hold and what to throw
You need a safe pair of hands
The kind that knows when to let go
And what you donāt know canāt hurt you
Till it happens
Itāll have you
Though your puny little limbs
Will thrash the water into foam
There aināt nobody gonna save you
Like a safe pair of hands
Now that youāre so far from sure
You need a safe pair of hands
Oh but youāre just clutching at straws
And what you donāt know canāt hurt you
Till it happens
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5. |
All Along The Shore
03:52
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All along the shore
All along the shore
Waves are breaking broken bottles into sand
Out among the pines
Out among the pines
Firebreaks, they break the fire into lines
Waves are breaking broken bottles into sand
Over on the hill
Over on the hill
Nothingās moving, maybe nothing ever will
Waves are breaking broken bottles into sand
Firebreaks, they break the fire into lines
And they say weāve still got time
But no one can say how long
Underneath the waves
Underneath the waves
Mutant beasts mutate in underwater caves
Firebreaks, they break the fire into lines
Waves are breaking broken bottles into sand
Nothingās moving, maybe nothing ever will
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6. |
Ballad In G-Sharp Minor
04:21
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Donāt send me down in that hole
Donāt send me down in that hole
I may be a big man but nobodyās too big to cry
Iām begging you
Donāt send me down in that dark hole to die
Oh, the boss drives a Beemer
Yes, the boss drives an Audi
Yes, the boss drives me clean up the wall
And I guess itās a good thing
That heās such a great driver
Cos heās otherwise good for fuck-all
Donāt send me down in that hole
Donāt send me down in that hole
I may be a big man but nobodyās too big to cry
Iām begging you
Donāt send me down in that dark hole to die
Oh, the Minister says
That the Minister cares
While the Minister swipes at his phone
And weāre all in agreement
Thereās a lot to look into
But no oneās looking down into this hole
Donāt send me down in that hole
Donāt send me down in that hole
I may be a big man but nobodyās too big to cry
Iām begging you
Donāt send me down in that dark hole to die
Oh, the cops did their best
Yeah, the cops sent a drone
That the cops bravely remote controlled
But it died in the dark
And it sputtered and sparked
Pleading:
āDonāt leave me down in thiā
āDonāt leave me down in thiā
āDonāt leave me down in this holeā
Donāt send me down in that hole
Donāt send me down in that hole
I may be a big man but nobodyās too big to cry
Iām begging you
Donāt send me down in that dark hole to die
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7. |
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People always tell you
That youāre too smart for your own good
But every time youāve ever fucked up
Itās cos you did something dumb
Maybe what people really mean
Is that youāre not as smart as you should be
Maybe people ought to keep their reckons to themselves
And Iām not dumb
At least I think Iām not dumb
People say that years from now
People wonāt remember what you said
But theyāll remember how you made them feel
Thatās dumb!
Cos people have feelings all the time
But I can tell you this right now:
It matters what you say
Cos there are things in the world that exist
And there are words we use to describe them
And if the thing and the word do not match
Thatās how we know that somebody is lying
And if I was dumb
Well I wouldnāt think I was dumb
And if Iām not dumb, then why do I act like Iām so dumb?
Yeah if Iām not dumb, then why do I act like Iām so dumb?
Yeah, if Iām not dumb, then why do I act like Iām so dumb?
(He must be doing it on purpose)
Yeah if Iām not dumb, then why do I act like Iām so dumb?
(He must be doing it on purpose)
If heās not dumb, he must be doing it on purpose
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8. |
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Crucified inverted on a wheel
Thrown from a plane into the sea
Braised alive inside a brazen bull
Beheaded by an early guillotine
Executed by a thousand cuts
Strangled and impaled on a stake
Piled up with rocks until youāre crushed
Tossed into a pit of deadly snakes
There are worse ways
So they tell me
I just donāt see
How that helps me
Birds are singing and sunās a-shining
They donāt give two shits if weāre out here dying
Theyāll die in their turn
We wonāt care either
Thereās no rules except one:
No survivors
Left to rot upon a stagnant pond
Built into a wall of solid brick
Forced to drink a pint of molten gold
Tied to horses, quartered limb from limb
Those whoāve got stuff
Will get more stuff
If youāve got no stuff
I guess thatās tough
Look from one end of earth to the other
Youāll see that to exist is to suffer
That stuff you piled up
Wonāt help you either
Thereās no rules except one:
No survivors
Electrocuted in a wooden chair
Weighted down and pushed into a lake
Flayed of skin and blown from a gun
Kneeled on until you suffocate
I donāt mean to
Make you fearful
But maybe you should
Be more careful
Birds are singing and sunās a-shining
Theyāre way too high up to care if youāre crying
Most people down here
Donāt care either
Take comfort in knowing thereās
No survivors
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9. |
TRASHFUTURE
03:51
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I used to have so many words
Back when I didnāt know shit
Now I know fucking everything
And I couldnāt tell you one bit of it
They say these things about my friends
They use these words like āatypicalā
Typical people think water comes from a tap
Typical people have a favourite kind of car
Iāve seen the future and the future is trash
And Iām glad Iām not going there
Iāve seen the future, and itās trash
I used to wish someone would do something
Guess I couldāve done something myself
But I had all these important songs to write
Iāve seen the future and the future is trash
And Iām glad Iām not going there
I spent all day listening to The Cure
Weirdly, it seems to be working
But then I look around me, and I start to wonder
Why Iād even want to be cured
Because the future is trash
Iāve seen the future and the future is trash
And Iām glad Iām not going there
Iām glad Iām not
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10. |
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Sit in the chair
And look at the screen
These tools fit so smooth in your hands
They are made to be used
And youāre going to use them
To give this machine your commands
Shiny silver
And sky-blue surround you
The air is suspiciously warm
And over and over and over
The filters breathe everything in
And block out any sources of harm
All things considered
All things digested
And moulded to flow down this tube
And through this tube
Everything
Will be given unto you
Leave your body
Leave your body
Leave your body alone
The machine will take you
The machine will take you anywhere
We want you to go
You have new memories
You have new memories from today
Remember all the bad things you said?
Remember all the bad things you did?
Well itās 3 a.m. now
And theyāre back to haunt you
Everything is in here
In here is everything
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11. |
Drug Friends
03:27
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How come we never see old mate Johnno no more?
He used to swing by when the flatties wanted to score
Is it the same reason why his face is covered in sores
That means we never hear his friendly knocking on our door?
And how ābout that dude who used to drop in for spots
And tell me that one story whose ending he always forgot
Since the supply ran dry we havenāt seen him a lot
Donāt it make you wonder if he actually was your friend or not?
And when youāre wondering if your drug friends are your real friends
Well thereās a way to know if your drug friends are your real friends
Yeah if youāre wondering if your drug friends are your real friends
Stop taking drugs
Itās been ages since Mike wanted to catch up for a beer
That guy always had advice if youād lend him an ear
Now I havenāt seen his face in nearly a year
And when we asked him to that barbecue he acted really weird
It leaves you wondering if your drug friends are your real friends
But thereās a way to know if your drug friends are your real friends
Yeah if youāre wondering if your drug friends are your real friends
Stop taking drugs
But itās a long cold night playing Scrabble with your boyfriend
Who knew there were so many hours in a weekend?
And everything on Netflix sucks ā¦
Does anybody else just want to go and take some drugs?
Cos if youād rather be with your drug friends than your real friends
Then maybe all of your drug friends are your real friends
And even if all of your drug friends arenāt your real friends
At least you get to take some drugs
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12. |
An Is To Every Ought
03:47
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13. |
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May you be plagued
By biting insects
Which have developed a resistance
To all insecticides
But are not so evolved that they wonāt attack your perineum
May every robot
You are forced to deal with
Repeatedly reject
Your every input
Even though you took care to spell each word correctly
May the lights turn red
The very instant after
That one bastard cuts you off
In spite of the glaring fact
That you clearly had the right of way
Iām fucking driving here
May all of your pets
Die horrible and expensive deaths
And as you walk grieving through the streets
May every passing stranger tell you to smile
Even though itās none of their fucking business
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Vorn Wellington, New Zealand
āVorn Colgan has been New Zealand's best-kept musical secret for so long now that it seems almost a shame to spoil it.ā ā Simon Sweetman, offthetracks.co.nz
Vorn recommends:
Vorn: They Donāt Know You Like We Do
by Powertool Records
Itās an album of Vorn covers!
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Nov 14, 2023
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